hownowbrownseacow:

rosiebeck:

nxv:

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face

Fantastic.

jebiwonkenobi:

When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.

itsanearhatloki:

shutupmerlin:

‘THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO MARKET’ OH GOD IT’S NOT TO BUY FOOD, HE WENT AS FOOD. THE LITTLE PIGGY WENT AS FOOD.  

rainbow-llama:

actuallyboycrazy:

think about the first person to have twins

how freaking confused do you think they were omg

bowlegsandangels:

killercest:

cameronjohngodfrey:

azazels-child:

why is sexuality such a big thing like 

just have sex with whoever you want as long as they consent

why is it such a huge thing

You should run for office.

if i ran for office i would end up legalizing situational murder

yeah, definitely run for office.

leezzee:

gallifreyangurl:

dinosaurs-on-wheels:

hoechln:

i was going to make a list of people that annoy me, but it was too long so I decided to post a pic instead. 

omg i’m in the same photo as tom hiddleston

ugh, my hair looks terrible 

can we do it again i blinked

neopetspremium:

blackii17:

neopetspremium:

I !!!!!!!!!

WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO!!!!!!!!!!!!1

BE!!!!!!!!!!!

HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

PUT THE FUCKING TABLE BACK!!

┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)